Today is another day.
It’s weird though because I don’t know what scares me more…staying frozen and broken, or moving forward and facing reality. Getting back in shape (let’s face it, even taking a step on my hurt foot) is scary. Will my body ever be the same? Will I ever be as strong or as carefree again? Will I have to go back and gain their trust as a dancer again? Will life with my friends be different? Will my foot always cause me trouble and pain?
I can’t answer any of those questions. I have no time table. I’m frozen.
Sometimes when I find myself crying, I literally don’t know why. I have a feeling it’s more about anxiety over those questions than about where I am now.
I can’t let myself live in the “what if” life. I am here, right now, moving inch by inch toward my goal. I will know the answers to those questions exactly when I need to. For now, my job is to trust. Trust and let go. Wait on the Lord and find the good in this gift of alone time with Him.
I have this written on my wall:
“Who you become while you are waiting is just as important as what you are waiting for.”
I want this to strengthen my faith. I want this to give me compassion toward others who go through difficult times. I want this to show me more of who He is. Thankful for His relentless love.
Song for today:
Marks of the Storm by River City Hymnal
Batter my heart till it’s beating for You.